March 20!

Spring sunrise at the farm

Today is the first day of spring and it is my birthday. According my own long-ago views, I am old! But I don’t feel old, and when I look in the mirror, I don’t see an old lady looking back. “Old” has become so much, well, older than it used to be. 

Twenty years ago, if I had allowed myself to think about it, I probably couldn’t have imagined living to this age. The cancer diagnosis then was followed by another, a dozen years later. Two rounds of cancer, with chemo and surgery and all the rest, shifted my focus from the long view to the here-and-now. I had known in my head that I wouldn’t live forever, but then my heart learned it. It sounds trite, but the lesson of the heart is to make every day count, to do the things that make for peace, to live in love – with those around me, with the world, with God. Some days that is easier to do than other days, but it is always worth trying. 

Spring and a birthday – two good causes for celebrating a new season!

 

Grocery Shopping....

March 13, 2020, was a Friday – Friday the thirteenth. We had a study group at church on hymnody. Mama and I went and after it was over, I needed a few things at the grocery store. I don’t remember what anymore, but I didn’t want to go all the way to my usual store, so we went to the one near church, an IGA. I got want I needed – whatever it was – and we went home. And that was the last time I shopped in a grocery store. I have not gone into a grocery store to buy food in two years. 

Everything came to a grinding halt that weekend. We still had in-person worship but we cancelled our church luncheon for March 15. (A family size pan of lasagna was in my freezer for a long time.) ven on the 13th, I had posted signs on the doors for folks to keep their distance from each other. Soon after, we were no longer worshipping in person, and that would go on for a very long time. 

In these past two years, I have mastered the art of on-line grocery shopping. I make my lists, send them in, and drive up for curb-side. It is convenient (for me), and allows me to shop around from home. I’ve gotten to know the folks who pick my groceries. And they are good! I’ve made a few mistakes – ending up once with four pounds of radishes and a bag of frozen French fries so big it lasted for six months. But what a blessing for me. I have not had to go into the store; I have not worried about getting sick there; I have been able to pay for and pick up our food. 

I give thanks regularly for those who make this possible – the ones who shop my orders and bring them to my car; the stores that pivoted overnight to do this; the truck drivers delivering toilet paper and spinach. And I wonder if I will ever go back to a weekly trip to the grocery store, with my written list in hand. I wonder if I will ever just run in for one or two things. I wonder if things will ever be the way they were “before.”

 

Cheers.....

Sometimes I get a song stuck in my head – an earworm. Often it is a hymn, and usually one that I don’t even especially like. The song that has stayed with me lately, though, is the theme song to Cheers, a TV show that hasn’t aired in almost 30 years. This is the opening bit: 

Making your way in the world today 

Takes everything you've got 

Taking a break from all your worries 

Sure would help a lot 

Wouldn't you like to get away? 

I don’t know why the song came to me, but isn’t it the right theme song for now? Lots of folks would like to get away – away on vacation, away for a worry-free night out, away from bills and masks and stress. And: 

Sometimes you want to go 

Where everybody knows your name 

And they're always glad you came 

You want to be where you can see 

Our troubles are all the same 

You want to be where everybody knows your name 

The fictional bar Cheers was that place for a small group. And church has been like that for some folks – a place where everybody knows your name, and they’re always glad you came. A deep sense of being known and (still) welcomed is a precious thing. It is the essence, I think, of the love of God. 

Our Cheers and our churches are flawed institutions. We don’t always want to know those who come, especially the ones who challenge us, who differ from us. We don’t always welcome those who need it the most. But in the world today, where it takes everything we’ve got to keep on with the keeping on, we need each other. 

Unlike the song, these days our troubles are not all the same: The people I know are not fleeing a war or fighting for their lives. But maybe, deep down, we all long to be known, to be loved, to be welcomed into the holy embrace of God.

Making our way in the world today takes everything we've got.  Lord, have mercy. Christ, have mercy. Lord, have mercy.

Anniversary

Five years ago today, I locked the door of my little house in Connecticut, got in my car, and drove to North Carolina – came home. It was a long trip, both that day and the whole journey of my life. I have traveled far from the farm in the South. I have learned a lot, seen a lot, grown a lot. But somehow through all of it, this farm, this place, has always been home. I always knew I would come back when I retired. And I knew it would be different from my growing up because I am different. 

In these five years, I have raised chickens, kept bees, pastored two churches, become a Master Gardener, remodeled a farmhouse, cooked more than 2000 meals, made three quilts, and learned anew the precious love of family. I have learned to sleep past 4:30.  I have doctored a horse, fed the goats, and kissed a dog goodbye.  These have been good and holy days.  And here’s to more sweet days and years to come!

 

A Snowy Day

It is snowing, and it is lovely – fat flakes floating down, covering the grass, transforming the common, beautifying the world outside my windows. For my family, here in the South on a Saturday, this is a treat. We will be indoors except for feeding the animals, staying warm by the fire, waiting for reports from kids who will manage, somehow, to go sledding. But for my friends and former neighbors in New England, this storm is a different story. There, they have dangerous cold, heavy snow, strong winds. And there are many who cannot stay home: snow plow drivers, police officers, fire fighters, health care workers, and more. 

How you interpret an event often depends on where you sit. For those who can sit inside, a snow storm is wonderful.  It is a delight for those who rarely experience it and get to choose whether to stay in or go out and play. But that same snow can be a trial and a danger to others. I give thanks today for all who brave the elements to protect and care for others. I grieve for those who are unhoused. I rejoice for the children who will bundle up and play outside. And I know that I have the privilege of being warm and well-fed, staying inside, watching the flakes fly.

And next week, the forecast is for temps in the 70s.....

 

The Girls Are Back!

My chickens all had a hard molt in the late fall. They completely stopped laying in mid-October – not one single egg. I fed them dehydrated worms as a source of high protein and lots of good snacks. And their feathers grew as they ate the extras. And still they did not lay any eggs. All through November – no eggs. All through December – no eggs. But in January, they have returned to giving me eggs! In the lower right nesting box they have been leaving one, two, or three eggs every day. We are once again eating deviled eggs for lunch and omelets for supper.  The hens are fat and fluffy, their feathers filled out again.  My girls are back at work.  And all is right with the world -- at least in this tiny corner!

 

January Storm

Tiny icicles hang from the broad, bright green magnolia leaves. There is a sheen of ice on the outdoor surfaces. It is cold. Folks here were hoping for snow and there might have been a few flakes in the wee hours. But mostly this storm is rain for us, cold, soaking rain. As the temps creep up, the ice begins to melt. It is a rainy Sunday, gray and dreary.

 

Confusion

 

It is January. It is supposed to be – if not cold – then at least cool. But we have had many days with temps above 70, even some 80 degree days. The dandelions have popped up in the yard; the forsythia is starting to bloom. Today it is 55 and sunny, and the bees are out and about, foraging, some of them coming back to the hive with loaded pollen baskets. The queen is probably starting to lay. They will all need food, so they will eat up their stored honey. And if this goes on, they will not survive what passes for winter these days. So I am feeding them sugar and hoping they make it. They are so confused. We are all confused….

Perspective

J's sunset (posted with her permission)

My sister has joined me in painting with watercolors. It is an activity that is challenging and comforting, freeing and frustrating. There is some technique that we practice but mostly we experiment with various combinations of water and paint. A few days ago, we painted a sunrise, a morning sky with pale sun and purple and pink clouds. Her colors were vibrant and lively, but she was critical of her work, thinking that it did not look “right,” that it was not like the picture we were using for our guide. And then she turned her paper upside down and it was a sunset instead. And it was perfect! 

And it makes me think that sometimes when I am dissatisfied with something, when I think things are not quite right, I just need to turn them upside down and change my perspective...

 

Detour

The main route from our farm to “town” is closed for road work, so yesterday when I went to a doctor’s appointment, I had a detour. That way around has soaring bridges over the river, and it winds through wide stands of pine trees. The dome of the sky was pearlescent blue, melting into pink along the horizon. The sun was just beginning to rise. It was so beautiful – one of those moments that makes you catch your breath. I had the radio on, listening to the morning news. There were stories about tragic deaths, violent dictators, hatred acted out in streets and governments sickness and poverty and despair. So much of the news was evil and ugly, and yet I had detoured into the midst of goodness and beauty. What a contrast ... and a whispered commandment to seek beauty, to live in the light, to overcome evil with goodness (Romans 12:21).

Pine trees at sunrise near Wilmington --
not quite what I saw, but I was driving and did not take a photo!